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Christmas Market in Basil, Switzerland December '19

My daughter, Mum and I visited Basil in Switzerland in December 2019. We visited  markets in Switzerland  and France. We had a wonderful, carefree time. Three generation's; marvellous.  My Stoma had been very well behaved- no accidents and I was at a point where I forgot about it.  How I long for that carefree time. Now I am bogged down with depression and I am a cardboard cutout of the person I was then. Everything is an effort, the meds I'm on make me tired and listless. I have no motivation or drive. This illness, for me, is far worse than the cancer. This illness steals my essence and my identity. Unlike with the cancer I have no fight in me. I hope for a future, I hope for a new life. I grieve for the person I was. I hardly recognise this feeble, sorrowful woman I have become. I pray she comes home to me.

Introduction to Living with a Stoma.

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 Hi, I've been living with a colostomy stoma bag for 10 years now and I can remember it, as if it were yesterday, how  scary and frightening it was to be told I would have a bag for life/that it would be permanent. I thought normal life was over.  But I was wrong. Yes there were many changes and challenges but a full life was/is doable. I do most things I did BC (before the cancer and stoma. I'd love  to chat with anyone about anything to do with stoma's - if you need advice or support. My Stoma nurses were wonderfully supportive and once I set my mind to it and learnt how to fit the stoma bag that was the start. I think I'd' have benefited from talking to someone in my position which is why I'm writing this blog.  I've been lucky to have a lot of loving support around me which has helped. Leaving the house was one of the first hurdles I faced - I thought the bag would burst/leak and I'd be humiliated and embarrassed (it didn't). Just going to the lo